9 Steps Book Cover 3x4wide

9 Steps Now Available in Paperback (plus a FREE gift if you act fast!)

I’m so excited to announce that my new book, 9 Steps to Heal Your Resentment and Reboot Your Marriage, is now available in paperback! When I launched the eBook last December, many of you wrote in to say you wanted a paperback copy—so here it is! Simply click this link to get your very own, […]

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Teamwork, folks.

A Hacker’s Guide to Better Communication

We were in California last week when a family plopped down next to us at the beach. They were miserable, complaining to high heaven and snipping at each other left and right. Like many other exchanges I’ve overheard between loved ones, their interaction was pointed and painful. “Stop being so annoying!” the mother snapped at […]

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What to Do When Your Spouse is Acting Up? Try This

Lately, I’ve been getting lots of comments like “Help! My spouse is driving me nuts! I can’t take it anymore!” So today, I’d like to offer a simple solution. (Simple, but not necessarily easy.) When your spouse starts agitating—complaining, being mean, or just plain driving you nuts—try this: Turn toward your spouse instead of away […]

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Photo by Vlado, courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

How to Use Your Introvert or Extrovert-ed Self to Your Advantage

In my last post, I wrote about crashing and burning after I ignored my introverted need for peace and quiet. Today, I’d like to show you how you can use that information to strengthen your marriage. So let’s start by recapping: An introvert needs quiet time to recharge while an extrovert recharges by being around […]

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My little fly-fishers, the people who do really matter. (And yes, it was as cold as it looks. Rocky Mountain National Park just weeks ago. While it was 70 here in Boulder. Sheesh.)

What are You Avoiding, and Why?

I often write about the importance of taking care of yourself first—that way, you’ll have enough energy to take care of your loved ones. So I should know this better than anyone, right? Yeah, right. Except for when life gets really, really busy and everything swirls into one crazy-fast ball, and before you know it—boom!—you’ve […]

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Anne Lamott

Why We’re So Frigging Busy (and What We Can Do About It)

Is it just me, or is life challenging as hell right now? I feel like everyone I know is going through some kind of crisis (or many crises). One of the ways I see this showing up is through busyness, overscheduling and a shitload of extra stress. (Hint: none of which actually help.) So today, […]

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Photo by Sebastian Boguszewicz courtesy of Unsplash

How to Reconnect with Your Spouse in 6 Seconds

When you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, hug him (or her) for at least 6 seconds to get the oxytocin flowing. Commonly known as the love and bonding hormone, oxytocin activates the neurotransmitters in your brain that connect you with your loved one, and when it’s flowing, watch out! You’ll start to feel better almost […]

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Photo courtesy of Rene Reichelt at Unsplash

13 Ways to Tell if You’re Checking Out of Your Marriage (and How To Fix it Before Your Spouse Leaves)

Kevin wrote to tell me he’s been working his ass off to provide food and shelter for his family. He works long hours, and when he gets home, he’s too exhausted to connect. His wife’s resentful as hell, and he doesn’t feel great about their marriage, either. But someone has to pay the bills, right? […]

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This is what my backyard looked like this morning after a new foot of snow. Would you believe I even shoveled a path out for the dog?

How to Take Back Your Power and Dig Out of Your Resentment (One Shovelful at a Time)

Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of pleas for help around this whole resentment thing. Yesterday, two women wrote me complaining that their husbands weren’t there for there emotionally or financially during some intense life challenges. And then there was the man who asked for advice after his wife physically and emotionally distanced herself from […]

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9 Steps Book Cover 3x4

The book is out–and it’s FREE this weekend!

I’m SO excited to announce that my new book, 9 Steps to Heal Your Resentment and Reboot Your Marriage, is now available! As a giant thank you to all of you incredible folks, I’d like to offer you this book for FREE  tomorrow and Saturday (until midnight MST Sat, December 13th). All you have to […]

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