When you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, hug him (or her) for at least 6 seconds to get the oxytocin flowing. Commonly known as the love and bonding hormone, oxytocin activates the neurotransmitters in your brain that connect you with your loved one, and when it’s flowing, watch out! You’ll start to feel better almost […]
13 Ways to Tell if You’re Checking Out of Your Marriage (and How To Fix it Before Your Spouse Leaves)
Kevin wrote to tell me he’s been working his ass off to provide food and shelter for his family. He works long hours, and when he gets home, he’s too exhausted to connect. His wife’s resentful as hell, and he doesn’t feel great about their marriage, either. But someone has to pay the bills, right? […]
Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of pleas for help around this whole resentment thing. Yesterday, two women wrote me complaining that their husbands weren’t there for there emotionally or financially during some intense life challenges. And then there was the man who asked for advice after his wife physically and emotionally distanced herself from […]
I’m SO excited to announce that my new book, 9 Steps to Heal Your Resentment and Reboot Your Marriage, is now available! As a giant thank you to all of you incredible folks, I’d like to offer you this book for FREE tomorrow and Saturday (until midnight MST Sat, December 13th). All you have to […]
Hi folks! Thanks so much for all your emails about last week’s tips! I’m SO glad that my tips on communicating more clearly (so we can let go of our resentment) were so helpful. For today’s post, I’d like to dig into some of the deeper roots behind our resentment—the (gulp) past! So strap yourself […]
So, how did Thanksgiving go? Anyone still standing? I hope so, because we still have a few more weeks of holidays to go! So let’s jump right in with a few more tips for surviving the holidays and getting rid of your resentment. After my last post, lots of folks emailed to let me know […]
Is your spouse driving you nuts? If you’re anything like the rest of us, you’re feeling stressed and overextended now that the holidays have kicked in. Add some holiday travel and extended family into the mix and suddenly you’re drowning. Let’s see if I can help by sharing a few tips for surviving the holidays […]
I wanted to share this TEDx talk with you because I think it can help a lot of us. In this thought-provoking talk, Michele Weiner-Davis shows us why sex plays such an important role in communication and connection, then teaches us what we can do to fix it. Especially recommended for anyone who feels like […]
Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about how our brains are wired for negativity. Back in the old days, this negativity bias helped us survive by constantly scanning the horizon for trouble. But since we no longer need to be on alert for lion attacks (well, most of us, anyway), our brain keeps us needlessly […]
So many of us are struggling to break the patterns we’ve inherited from our families. I hope this essay I recently published on Gawker helps someone out there break free from their family chains — or at least reconsider their family stories with fresh eyes.
- How Resentment Kills a Marriage (and 5 Ways You Can Kill Your Resentment) May 18, 2012
- Retrain Your Brain in Just 3 Minutes a Day February 16, 2012
- How Do You Know When It’s Time to Give Up? December 5, 2013
- The Root of Our Troubles–and What We Can Do About it April 2, 2013
- The Sex-Starved Marriage (and How to Fix it) August 16, 2014
- How to Reconnect with Your Spouse in 6 Seconds March 11, 2015
- 13 Ways to Tell if You’re Checking Out of Your Marriage (and How To Fix it Before Your Spouse Leaves) March 4, 2015
- How to Take Back Your Power and Dig Out of Your Resentment (One Shovelful at a Time) February 26, 2015
- The book is out–and it’s FREE this weekend! December 11, 2014
- How the Past Affects Your Resentment (and What You Can Do About It) December 10, 2014
- Josh: Thanks Tanja. Keep up the good job you're doin...
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- Mike: Hi Isa, Since you mentioned that there are things...
- Josh: Hi Tanja. I will try this one, is short but to...
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I'm a part-time writer who works from home, alongside my work-from-home hubby and our two boys, ages 5 and 3. Welcome to our crazy little space shuttle! Tanja Pajevic
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