Why You Should Bother Trying to Reboot Your Marriage (or Anything Else)

Why should you bother?

The last thing you feel like doing with those few extra minutes is trying to get close to your spouse.  It’s so much easier to just watch some TV, you know.  Zone out, or take a nap. Pretend that things aren’t as bad as they are.

Stuff it down. Again.

Besides, even if you do gather up the courage to approach her, nothing’s going to change, right?

And if you somehow manage to find the balls to talk to him straight-up, what if he makes fun of you?  Worse yet, what if he ignores you?

Let’s face it: when you take that first step, you’re vulnerable.  And that’s scary as hell.

But the good news is that being vulnerable shows that you’re on the right road.  According to Brene Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change. ”

Think about that one for a minute.  You can apply it to work, sure.  You can apply it to your dreams.  You can also apply it to your marriage, and what that means is this: if you’re not willing to open up and be vulnerable with your spouse, nothing’s going to change.

But here’s the good news: “vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.”

Yeah, that’s right.  If you’re feeling vulnerable, you’re not the loser you’ve been led to believe.  And you shouldn’t feel ashamed of yourself for being so vulnerable–in fact, it’s just the opposite.  Stand up and walk tall, because you’re actually way ahead of the game.  If you don’t believe me, check out this inspiring TED talk on shame that Ms. Brown gave after her TED talk on vulnerability became an internet sensation.  (I’ve included that one below, in case you’d like to see both.)

Thanks to my friend Hollis for turning me on to this video today, of all days, when I really needed it.  After feeling like an ass for over-baring my soul lately, and feeling like a total failure for the fact that nothing–both at home and on the job front–seemed to be working right now, this talk helped remind me that yes, I am on the right path.

I hope these TED talks help remind you that you are, too.

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